Accept It
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: Tony leaned against the sink, struggling to reign in his anger. "No one will say their names, you noticed that? It's like they're dead. Every time I look at their desks, I feel like I made the wrong decision. Only, it wasn't me who decided."


**Accept It**

**Rifiuto: No****n Miriena**

**Summary: Tony leaned against the sink, struggling to reign in his anger. "No one will say their names, you noticed that? It's like they're dead. Every time I look at their desks, I feel like I made the wrong decision. Only, it wasn't me who decided." **

His eyes flicked to first the desk directly across from his, and then the desk only a few feet beside his. Both were empty, yet to be filled. He still couldn't understand how they could do this, to Gibbs, to Abby, to _him_. They'd been his best friends. His coworkers. His surrogate family. They were his baby brother and sister, and now they were gone.

He didn't notice Gibbs enter, coffee in hand. He didn't hear the conversation flutter around him, the whispers and pointed looks towards Gibbs' team. He knew what they were saying though. He'd known the moment Gibbs stepped onto the plane and the door slammed shut.

How they'd gone off, done something drastic. Something completely out of character for both of them. How they'd disappeared in the middle of the night, in the clothing they'd worn to the club, giddy as schoolchildren as they held hands and rushed through the city, in search of something. He'd seen something that night, as he'd looked out the window of the hotel room, unable to sleep and nursing a glass of bourbon. He'd looked down towards the street, at just the right time, and watched as two figures dashed across the street, holding tight to each other, as they disappeared into the mist. At that point, he'd known who they were, but hadn't wanted to accept it.

Now, he had no choice.

"DiNozzo." His head snapped up, in time to see Gibbs watching him. "You okay?" Slowly, he nodded. And then just as quickly, dashed out of his chair, headed for the bathroom. Once the door slammed shut behind him, he went to the sink, splashing water on his face.

_"You do not look so good, Tony."_ He stopped, at Ziva's voice.

_"Maybe you need to go home, and get some rest."_ When he looked up, it was to Tim, staring at him in the mirror.

"I'm fine." He muttered, leaning against the sink. He'd played it cool, these last few weeks, keeping his mouth shut as the scuttlebutt around the building built and rumbled, a volcano ready to erupt. "I just... I don't understand why you did it. Why you ran off. Gibbs said you were going to come back after two weeks, and then, what? You just decided to stay? That your jobs weren't worth it? That your team wasn't worth it?"

Tim shrugged, stepping up to the Senior agent. _"We wanted our own lives. Not the lives Gibbs dictated for us."_

"Then why did you decide to betray Abby and I like that?" He demanded, whirling on the younger agent, only to find Tim wasn't there.

_"We did not betray either you or Abby."_ Ziva said, leaning against the wall near the door. _"We fell in love. Long before Acapulco."_

"Vancouver." Tony spit, turning a hurt-filled gaze to her. She just raised an eyebrow.

_"Long before that, Tony. Tim and I have always been in love."_ She pushed herself away from the wall, joining Tim, who stood watching Tony. _"You just need to accept it."_

"How can I, when you went behind my back?" He snapped, lashing out. The soap dispenser wrenched from the wall and crashed to the floor, as Tim and Ziva disappeared, and it was then that Tony realized they had all been in his mind.

"You got a problem, DiNozzo?" He looked up to see Gibbs standing near him. The older man watched him, waiting for an explanation. Tony leaned against the sink, struggling to reign in his anger. He let out a strangled laugh.

"No one will say their names, you noticed that?" He didn't look up, but he could feel Gibbs' blue-eyed stare boring into his back. It was then that he realized that Gibbs had known about their marriage, their attraction, before anyone else, and that he had let it slide. He had let them fall in love, break Rule Twelve, do what they did and run off, never to return. Tony took a deep breath, continuing,

"It's like they're_ dead_. Ducky and Jimmy are the same as they were, but... but Abby doesn't play her music anymore. She doesn't dress like she used to, doesn't wear her makeup like she used to, before they disappeared. She's gotten rid of everything they've given her over the years. Torched it all; and I admit, I helped. I helped watch it go up in smoke." Gibbs listened, silent. "And... every time I look at their desks, I feel like I made the wrong decision." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Only, it wasn't me who decided."

"It was them." Gibbs whispered. Tony nodded.

"It was them." He echoed, broken. He'd lost his two best friends, his siblings, and he wasn't sure he could handle it. What seemed to hurt the most, was that they'd lied, they'd deliberately lied to him, keeping their attraction a secret, as though he couldn't be trusted. And maybe he couldn't, but they wouldn't know unless they confided in him. Now, they would never have that chance. He would never have that chance.

A moment passed, before Gibbs laid a hand on the back of his neck and squeezed gently. "It was their choice, Tony. You need to respect that. Vancouver started a burning fire that had been smouldering for years; they needed to do something, otherwise it would have engulfed them and left nothing but smouldering, burning ash. After what they went through in Vancouver, they needed each other. Whatever they went through up there, put them both through hell, and they needed each other to survive, they depended on each other, and were able to heal because of each other. Vancouver changed them both, and you need to accept that, Tony."

The younger man looked at his boss in the mirror. "You need to accept it and _respect_ it."


End file.
